Making your family work together takes some efforts. Try these activities to get family members thinking about what kind of family they are all part of.
Take some quiet time and write down your thoughts about the overall atmosphere in your family. Ask yourself:
• Is it chaotic, frenetic, relaxed, happy, tense, or noisy?
• Is it a place where you can easily laugh, feel safe or bring friends to visit?
• If your children are describing your family to his friends, what would they say?
Your spouse should go through a similar question and compare the result.
2. Check your answers
If you are not entirely happy with your responses, you should spend some time to come up with changes you can easily implement today and make the whole situation better:
• Both parents may work together to get kids up each morning, prepare the breakfast activity – the husband puts dinner leftover into the microwave for packed lunch while the wife makes toast and fries egg and sausage.
• At night children share the tasks – putting out the trash, laying the table, wash non-glass dishes, and so on.
Even tiniest changes can make enormous differences in transforming your family life.
3. Talk with the entire family
Find a time when the whole family can gather. Pass out some a blank paper and ask them to write down their thoughts on the present atmosphere in your family. You can do this by:
Having a picnic in a park, make sure that all family members have the opportunity to talk. When someone is talking, others aren’t allowed to interrupt.
Expect to hear a few things you don’t agree with or don’t like, you should be ready to take actions to respond to them. These are a few examples of questions you might need to ask to each of them:
• What is the purpose and goal of this family?
• What should be our family values?
• What is a perfect family?
• What are important things that the family doesn’t do?
• What are your feelings when the family gets together?
• How do you want to be treated by others each day?
• What makes this family unique?
Do it each month to ensure an open communication line. After a few months, they will enjoy the exercise -especially when it is over a tasty lunch under the tree!
Establishing a ‘we’ mentality
This is a mentality that can make the family shares an identity. The “we” is certainly bigger than the ‘me’, an individualism mentality that can make a small child thinks the whole world revolves around them. Building a stronger “we” mentality is important in a family as it builds loyalty, support, trust, love, and a true framework for self-esteem and security. Consider these steps when building a ‘we’ mentality:
• Create and encourage family traditions. A good family tradition should make the entire family gathers together, for example, watching football on the TV, preparing a BBQ lunch on Sundays, or going on a winter vacation. Traditions should have special meaning to your family, so wonderful that they expect it. These traditions create closeness, warmth, and memories that will last a lifetime. Family traditions also build commitment, loyalty, and a family history. Maybe you enjoy riding bikes, listening to music, making models, watching films, walking your dogs, going to football matches? Ask your children what kinds of things they want to do.
• Create lasting memories. Creating happy family memories does not depend on how much cash you spend or whether your daughter wants a pony. Memories depend on the love, attention, and time you share with your children. Memories can only be simple moments of something funny or just being together.
• Talk often. Share your hopes, feelings, dreams, fears, sorrows, and joys. Talk about your wants and needs also try to be a good listener. A natural time to express yourselves or just have a small chat is when everyone feel relaxed. For you, it could be when you take my daughter to a piano lesson and when you are in the car with her for fifteen minutes or so.
• Establish family’s routines and rules. Write down everything that need to be improved and start figuring out practical solutions to effectively solve them – how, when, and who does what? Perhaps your daughter can help with the dishes after homework, your son can feed the pets, Mom can empty the dishwasher, and Dad can walk the dogs. Establish rules in a positive and friendly way and setting to many can be overwhelming and prevents everyone to stick to them. Track the progress (review them at least once a week), be flexible so you can adjust the plan if it doesn’t work as you expect it.
• Develop supportive habits. Developing a secure environment in your home is important to deal with everything that can throw you off balance – divorce, sickness, redundancy, bereavement, or disasters. A strong family unit should withstand all the disappointments and blows because it can bend well, but not break.
Co-operation in family
Co-operation can make family work together when pursuing a common aim. A good co-operation won’t put your desires, needs and wants above others’ in the family. It can help families get a good solution during harder times. Co-operation is an essential skill in helping your family moves toward harmony. If your family is experiencing upheaval due to conflicting members, how can they survive the storms raging on the wide wild world? By just asking ‘Can we find a solution to our problems?’, can help everyone work together. Your family should find solutions that are acceptable for everyone rather than the more competitive ‘this is mine, not yours’ resolutions. Unconstructive resolutions create division and tension. Instead, adopt a win-win method as the basic and fundamental attitude underpinning the family ethos. A good attitude is about seeking to be understood by understanding others. Positive ethos in a family often means listening more attentively and finding ways to solve problems creatively.