In many cases, grieving can be a life-changing and transformative process. This is a unique characteristic of grieving that doesn’t resemble typical physical injuries. For example, an accident may cause a few ribs to fracture, but they will eventually heal, you can move essentially the same like before, although your chest may feel a little stiff sometimes. However after the loss of someone you cared so much and you experience an intense grief, your life may never be quite the same again. Some experts say that losing someone we love is generally an “initiation process” that can change our lives permanently. If we consider the grieving process as an “initiation”, we essentially admit that it constitutes ordeals, self-observances and a move to new level of wisdom or knowledge. After the initiation is completed, the wisdom can transform us thoroughly and give us a new lease on life.
Loss and emotional growth
People who lost someone they love not only grieve for the loss of that person, but also the relationship they shared. And when we grieve over the loss of a relationship, we are also affected by the changes that happen unexpectedly. Despite one obvious fact that we are often not ready to such drastic changes, eventually, we have no choice but to adjust and submit to new situations. Those who lost someone often tell us that deaths have far-reaching impacts in our life, but luckily we still have control on how to face those changes and how far we take them. For example, we can choose to survive the loss and get through the pain, have a more mature emotional state and using the experience to become a better and more complete person. In fact, many people are inspired to make positive changes and improvements in life after the loss of someone they love.
How to renew your spirit
Having a profound loss can be a good opportunity to renew the spiritual connections in life. Of course, those who lost someone they love can vividly remember how precious and fragile human life is; how hollow and empty those material successes and dearly cherished goals are after death strikes.
Instead of become badly embittered by the thoughts that cherished goals are momentary and life is short, people can use their grief as a way to replenish their spiritual reservoir. They should seek an opportunity to revive connections with things in life that are unaffected by death, such as compassion and love.
These are a few suggestions on how to replenish our spirit as the ordeals of grieving and pain start to ease:
• Get in touch with everything that nurture your life and look for ways to improve their effects on your life.
• Reflect on your cherished goals in light of the unexpected loss.
• Take time to regularly listen to soothing or energetic music, read books and watch movies that can improve your optimism and uplift your spirit.
• During weekend take a long walk on a local or country park, so you can easily grasp the unity and the beauty of the natural world.
• Volunteer in a favorite community project, which is run by your neighborhood or religious groups.
How to reconnect with community and family
Death is a great divider. You can be abruptly separated from your loved ones and it may not stop there. All too often, grief and stress it brings; put us at odds with family and friends. Grieving the loss of someone you love may quickly isolate you from the living ones. Some people may even question their trust in the fairness of life and their hopes.
You should find ways to reconnect with the community, immediate family members, friends, co-workers and relatives. This is an important step to reconcile with your loss while positively integrating changes in your life. This is a sign that not only you are returning to a normal pace of life, but also that your pain is easing and you can learn lesson learned from your ordeals.
These are ways to reconnect your live with those who still walk the Earth and the society of which you are still a part:
• Invite family members and close friends to help build a memorial to a lost loved one.
• Get yourself involved in mentoring and tutoring young people at a community center or local school.
• Write postcards to all close friends and those who supported you and your family during and after the loss.
• Plan a regular family event to honor the contributions and accomplishments of everyone in the family.
• Start a research on your genealogy, by eliciting help and input from friends and families.
Compassion and grieving
Those who love someone will not be spared from the inevitable grief and pain. Only those who depart this world in younger ages are never affected by the loss of someone they love. Everyone will grieve and it is a great equalizer – as all people experience birth and death. Because grieving is a universal human experience, it can be the basis for establishing and practicing compassion in life. People with sincere compassion to the suffering of others are often those who have suffered previously. Having survived and learned lessons from grief, can put them in a unique place to help troubled people. One good way to help others’ grievances is to let them know that you have experienced a loss and you know how to survive it. People who experienced grieving previously can often listen openly and without judgment. The presence of someone who survived a grieving is a great reassurance for troubled people, which can bring them hopes.
However there is a potential problem with how you extend compassion to others. You may try to help others as a way to make yourself feel better about your loss. It is important to make sure that your goals are completely altruistic and you should maintain a good distance to avoid affecting their natural emotional healing process.